Looks like the migraine was nothing compared to how I started the year. Felt like I had the flu for almost week and wouldn’t go away so went to the ER and they gave me fluids I was very dehydrated. They kept me for a few days. I found out I have type 2 diabetes. Not happy about that more reason to lose weight. I have lost some since being sick not how I wanted to lose weight. I am going to start trying to use my treadmill every day. I am not sure how much weight I have lost so far. I have lost enough that people can notice. I haven’t really kept track in a long time so it could be more the weight lose then it seems. Worried I will have lots medical bills. Someone is working to get me assistance with bills.
Woke up this morning with a migraine. I wish something helped most time all I can do is wait for it to go away and sometimes that takes a couple of days. It sucks to start the new year with one. I am hoping it doesn’t last all day.
Right about now I am wishing I could redo my whole life, that can’t happen so going to try starting over. For the last couple years I have been wanting to lose the weight I have gained since moving from California. Off and on I have had trouble with my weight. I have gone from being a kid with a normal weight when I was young to being fat. I’m sure my problem is staying active. It started when I was put into foster care and group homes. I gained a lot of weight while in them. Except for while being in the group home I wasn’t very active. I didn’t have many friends and stayed indoors. Like my current life is. I would say I stay fat till around when I turned 20 or so… I was around 235 then and felt a lot like I do now needing change. It was hard to take it off at first then it seem to get easier. I rode my bike a lot every day almost and other things to stay active. I want to get back into riding my bike. I need lose some weight before that. Last time I tried and it was only around 1-2 miles and I got tired. I just weighed myself today and now at 263 hoping to get that to 260 in a week. We will see so far it’s not been working.
I had a lot goals when I first moved back to Erie. So far the only one I have managed to get done is getting my G.E.D. this year. I should have had that done when I first got here. I thought it would take me more time then it did. I don’t really want to stop at getting just that but I am unsure of where I want to go from there. I have looked at different computer classes. I have the same worries about them that I had when first trying to get my G.E.D. I just don’t know if I am smart enough. I need to also find work I can’t imagine doing jobs like I have in the past since the physical and required lots of lifting and being in shape. I think I would have died if I tried starting the job I had in California in the shape I am in now. When I do start working again I would like to fix up the many things around the house that need done. I have been sad before but looking at my life lately really got me down. I don’t really have friends since I moved back other then family don’t know people that are here in Erie. My goal for this week is going to be at least lose some weight even if its just few pounds. I doubt anyone will read this it’s mostly just for me to vent.
It’s late and I am wide awake. Another night of being awake at 5 am instead of just waking up I haven’t even started sleeping yet. Lately I have gone to bed around 10 am and waking up about 1 pm – 3 pm. No matter how hard I try I always end up being awake at night.
Old news but I did manage to pass the G.E.D. test. I did ok on most of it except the writing part. I was only really worried about that section of the test. I would have liked to did a little better on the parts. Not really anything else new going on. Currently thinking about continuing going go to school. Need to make up my mind what I would like to be doing.
My broken computer is almost fixed. I ordered a power supply from NewEgg.com and installed it yesterday. Seems to be working alright I just need to get more RAM. One the sticks of RAM went bad so it’s running slower than it used to.
About one week till I take my G.E.D. test. I was really nervous till today. Took a practice test and did pretty good on it, a lot better than last time. It looks like I might be helping with computers there when I finish. I have been helping Mike the teacher out during class. That has been fun something I could maybe like doing as a job in the future. Right now everything in life seems to be going really good. I need a job still but I have feeling that will change soon also after I finish school and learn to drive.
Sigh I don’t remember getting so many when I moved to California. Here in Erie seems like I am always getting the. The have been real bad lately. Missing way too much school cause of them and just not feeling good. I guess I should try seeing a doctor but I don’t have any medical right now. I don’t want to rack up some bills that I don’t have the money to pay for right now. I have like zero energy anymore and I am only 29. Lots of things I would like to be doing right now. I got tired cutting the grass. WTF just couple years ago I could ride my bike like 40 miles even last year I could even manage about 10-20 mile. Now last I tried 2 miles is hard for me. This week all I managed to do was cut the grass thats just sad.
Took some test last week and this week I started classes. I will be in school Monday – Friday from 9am to 1pm feels weird being back in after all this time of not being in school. Looks like and need to work on my math its been so long I forgot things I used to know. Still need to find a job not looking forward to that since I want to stay in school. Doing both won’t leave much free time for other things.