Starting over.

Right about now I am wishing I could redo my whole life, that can’t happen so going to try starting over.  For the last couple years I have been wanting to lose the weight I have gained since moving from California.  Off and on I have had trouble with my weight.  I have gone from being a kid with a normal weight when I was young to being fat. I’m sure my problem is staying active.  It started when I was put into foster care and group homes. I gained a lot of weight while in them.  Except for while being in the group home I wasn’t very active. I didn’t have many friends and stayed indoors.  Like my current life is. I would say I stay fat till around when I turned 20 or so… I was around 235 then and felt a lot like I do now needing change.  It was hard to take it off at first then it seem to get easier. I rode my bike a lot every day almost and other things to stay active.  I want to get back into riding my bike. I need lose some weight before that. Last time I tried and it was only around 1-2 miles and I got tired.  I just weighed myself today and now at 263 hoping to get that to 260 in a week. We will see so far it’s not been working.

I had a lot goals when I first moved back to Erie.  So far the only one I have managed to get done is getting my G.E.D. this year. I should have had that done when I first got here. I thought it would take me more time then it did. I don’t really want to stop at getting just that but I am unsure of where I want to go from there.  I have looked at different computer classes.  I  have the same worries about them that I had when first trying to get my G.E.D. I just don’t know if I am smart enough. I need to also find work I can’t imagine doing jobs like I have in the past since the physical and required lots of lifting and being in shape. I think I would have died if I tried starting the job I had in California in the shape I am in now. When I do start working again I would like to fix up the many things around the house that need done. I have been sad before but looking at my life lately really got me down.  I don’t really have friends since I moved back other then family don’t know people that are here in Erie.  My goal for this week is going to be at least lose some weight even if its just few pounds. I doubt anyone will read this it’s mostly just for me to vent.

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